The maple leaf chew is a leaf rolled up by hand and finger gathered in fall from the tree and branch yet, not off the ground. It is the fresh weather chew that comes too you of the season. From the air the feather knew of once dusky weather they say they also, they also knew.
Unlike the ground tobacco of Copenhagen chew, that one the flew was free for he knew it true. Unlike the ground weather of the soul in rainier deather it knew no beads of the dusky dues. That is all I shall say of that sad, sad day I like the others in there own way. So on to this review. This review for you of the maple leaf chew.
Does is take you on long, long shews of all the ones you ever knew? Well no, no that is your weather your Merry Weather in his home land he once knew, as Missoula, Montana. So don't the Canadians have a million of what had once been given to you. No, no not that either in brassin lights it's colder there there heart is true. We have one last question of you. What was her name when she gave it to you....
That neither did I nor or knew or know I no he's name in shadows of night we toasted under brassin lights. So that maple leaf was a man when he said his name to me. Yet I will not say his name to you his name he so tells, tell to, so far and few.
To summarize your bloggy man shoes I like the weather yet still I prefer the Copenhagen Longcut chew. For one reason; The Romanian I met in German shoes, Nurenburg they say of Southern Bavaria. Good bye to those it said it's fair through young man he knew.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Pride and Self Worth
In the church you are taught to be humble rather than prideful, as though pride was some form of self deceit and a feeling instilled by the devil. I could not disagree more. Taking pride in our accomplishments reinforces self worth and provides motivation for future success.
There is nothing like the feeling you get when you have done a good deed, or fulfilled your responsibilities. You look back in reflection thinking I feel good about what I have done. This is the kind of pride that tells us we are not worthless, specs of humanity in a world full of ants. That even the smallest accomplishment has worth and that we have purpose and meaning in our life. They told me in the Army once even being alive is a reason to be proud, and taken in perspective it's great to be alive.
Yet pride is not greedy, we can be proud of are children when they try their hardest to do well in school, or win a soccer match. Pride in others tells them that they have done something that only they could do. It gives a feeling of uniqueness to people, "Yes only you have accomplished the things you have in your time on earth!".
Pride is earned, it is not self deceit. Self deceit is egotism, and pride is different. People that are egotistical, often have very low self esteem inside, but pride is a good feeling; one that is earned.
So take pride even in the small things, and remember you are unique and very special. Be happy at your accomplishments, and the accomplishments of others.
There is nothing like the feeling you get when you have done a good deed, or fulfilled your responsibilities. You look back in reflection thinking I feel good about what I have done. This is the kind of pride that tells us we are not worthless, specs of humanity in a world full of ants. That even the smallest accomplishment has worth and that we have purpose and meaning in our life. They told me in the Army once even being alive is a reason to be proud, and taken in perspective it's great to be alive.
Yet pride is not greedy, we can be proud of are children when they try their hardest to do well in school, or win a soccer match. Pride in others tells them that they have done something that only they could do. It gives a feeling of uniqueness to people, "Yes only you have accomplished the things you have in your time on earth!".
Pride is earned, it is not self deceit. Self deceit is egotism, and pride is different. People that are egotistical, often have very low self esteem inside, but pride is a good feeling; one that is earned.
So take pride even in the small things, and remember you are unique and very special. Be happy at your accomplishments, and the accomplishments of others.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Morality Revisited
This morning I called my mother as I usually do. She questioned my choice in agreeing to pay off the debt I have with one of my credit card companies. Stating simply that I could not survive on fifty dollars a month it was clear I had made the wrong decision during a time of stress. I called the creditor and explained that I could not honor the agreement to pay back the debt.
In my last post I explained my position describing my alcohol abuse and cigaret addiction as I questioned my moral character in not paying the creditor. It is clear that I should not be spending a cent on these to habits when I'm not even paying for my own groceries. It is clear that compulsive spending on tech toys is the wrong thing to be spending my food money on. I can not defend my moral character, and using my mental health as an excuse seems rather lame. Even the adage A man can not survive on food alone, seems not to be applicable.
All I can say is I made a series of very bad choices that has resulted in my current financial crisis, and there is nothing I can do to change the past. Still, I can try to move forward in the future by focusing on the fundamentals of living and abstaining from spending my money on alcohol. While I'd like to include cigarets in that category I'm highly addicted and nothing short of rehab could free me.
I can use these mistakes to teach me a lesson on how to better myself morally and otherwise. The alternative being I destroy myself with guilt.
In my last post I explained my position describing my alcohol abuse and cigaret addiction as I questioned my moral character in not paying the creditor. It is clear that I should not be spending a cent on these to habits when I'm not even paying for my own groceries. It is clear that compulsive spending on tech toys is the wrong thing to be spending my food money on. I can not defend my moral character, and using my mental health as an excuse seems rather lame. Even the adage A man can not survive on food alone, seems not to be applicable.
All I can say is I made a series of very bad choices that has resulted in my current financial crisis, and there is nothing I can do to change the past. Still, I can try to move forward in the future by focusing on the fundamentals of living and abstaining from spending my money on alcohol. While I'd like to include cigarets in that category I'm highly addicted and nothing short of rehab could free me.
I can use these mistakes to teach me a lesson on how to better myself morally and otherwise. The alternative being I destroy myself with guilt.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Money and Morality on SSDI
My sister thought was suffering from OCD symptoms, but my doctor said these symptoms where aspects of my diagnosed mental illness paranoid schizophrenia. My sister was not referring to my compulsive spending tendencies when she would this, but I can't help but wonder if there is any connection. I was simply experiencing the craze of tech addiction, the need to have the newest toy or computer. A necessity somewhat driven by the advancement in gaming technology that requires newer more powerful hardware every two to three years. This is what led me from impoverished to destitute.
I receive Social Security Disability Income or SSDI for short. In first applying for SSDI, I had to swallow a lot of my pride. It was a time when I was still in denial about my illness. A time when I thought I should be treated no different then any other person struggling to survive with a limited education. Nevertheless I applied for and after going before a judge was approved.
It was over ten years ago and the first thing I bought was a computer. I had never had that much money at once (social disability income pays back checks from the time you apply to the time you are approved). At the same time I also returned to school and two years later was awarded an associates degree in micro computing technology. Perhaps then I could get a job that I would enjoy and allow me to pay back the money I received from SSDI somehow. I actually thought this was a possibility at the time and had a record of how much I had collected.
Eight years later I was forty years old and never once been hired for anything relating to computers. I worked for three years at Taco Treat before then and that is when I got my first credit card. I paid religiously at first saying I would make no purchase greater then I could afford to pay back at the end of the month. That didn't last, and soon I was on a yearly schedule of computer upgrades.
I ended up moving when I was forty to my current residence and got a different job at Walgreens, but my mental health issues where getting worse and I lasted only a year at the job. Schizophrenia has a tendency to get worse not better.
I was still using credit cards; after Walgreens I had three total which I was regularly buying big item purchase with. A new HD TV that I ended up giving to away to my parents, a PlayStation 3 that I gave to the neighbor kids. Of all the items I bought on SSDI, the only thing I have left is a ton of debt a computer system.
A year ago, I did not even have enough money to buy groceries. One of my cats had diabetes and my parents where paying for cat food, vet bills, and insulin (a heafty sum). That is one reason I gave them my TV, for all the help they had given me while Matty was alive. I was going to the local food bank regularly for food, while I payed off my credit cards.
Then I just stopped paying, sacrificing another moral. I was tired of struggling for food, but I was drinking at the time and I'm a smoker. Every month beer, tobacco, food. Even then though I'd sacrifice groceries and go to the food bank so I could afford a tech toy, a new gaming mouse, a new headset etc. I was ashamed and living in shame.
Today I settled with one credit card agency which leaves me with approximately fifty dollars left over, not including groceries. Morality hit a roadblock. I bought the stuff; I should pay back my debt.Yet in regard to the other two credit cards they will never be payed back and there is nothing to save my morality having been already sacrificed.
I receive Social Security Disability Income or SSDI for short. In first applying for SSDI, I had to swallow a lot of my pride. It was a time when I was still in denial about my illness. A time when I thought I should be treated no different then any other person struggling to survive with a limited education. Nevertheless I applied for and after going before a judge was approved.
It was over ten years ago and the first thing I bought was a computer. I had never had that much money at once (social disability income pays back checks from the time you apply to the time you are approved). At the same time I also returned to school and two years later was awarded an associates degree in micro computing technology. Perhaps then I could get a job that I would enjoy and allow me to pay back the money I received from SSDI somehow. I actually thought this was a possibility at the time and had a record of how much I had collected.
Eight years later I was forty years old and never once been hired for anything relating to computers. I worked for three years at Taco Treat before then and that is when I got my first credit card. I paid religiously at first saying I would make no purchase greater then I could afford to pay back at the end of the month. That didn't last, and soon I was on a yearly schedule of computer upgrades.
I ended up moving when I was forty to my current residence and got a different job at Walgreens, but my mental health issues where getting worse and I lasted only a year at the job. Schizophrenia has a tendency to get worse not better.
I was still using credit cards; after Walgreens I had three total which I was regularly buying big item purchase with. A new HD TV that I ended up giving to away to my parents, a PlayStation 3 that I gave to the neighbor kids. Of all the items I bought on SSDI, the only thing I have left is a ton of debt a computer system.
A year ago, I did not even have enough money to buy groceries. One of my cats had diabetes and my parents where paying for cat food, vet bills, and insulin (a heafty sum). That is one reason I gave them my TV, for all the help they had given me while Matty was alive. I was going to the local food bank regularly for food, while I payed off my credit cards.
Then I just stopped paying, sacrificing another moral. I was tired of struggling for food, but I was drinking at the time and I'm a smoker. Every month beer, tobacco, food. Even then though I'd sacrifice groceries and go to the food bank so I could afford a tech toy, a new gaming mouse, a new headset etc. I was ashamed and living in shame.
Today I settled with one credit card agency which leaves me with approximately fifty dollars left over, not including groceries. Morality hit a roadblock. I bought the stuff; I should pay back my debt.Yet in regard to the other two credit cards they will never be payed back and there is nothing to save my morality having been already sacrificed.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Foundation
Today I start a new chapter in ripsnet, having moved from a hosted domain via hostgator. I have decided to simplify, by creating this blog which will simplify my management and keep me focused. It is quite the change and for anyone that is really serious I would suggested a hosted domain, but for me this will serve my purpose and save on hosting fees.
I intend to have a rather relaxed posting schedule, maybe once per week. Sometimes it may even be less, though I hope for more frequent posts. It usually depends on the amount of inspiration I feel which seems harder and harder to come by now days.
So without further ado I wish you a pleasant visit and hope to hear from my readers via your comments.
I intend to have a rather relaxed posting schedule, maybe once per week. Sometimes it may even be less, though I hope for more frequent posts. It usually depends on the amount of inspiration I feel which seems harder and harder to come by now days.
So without further ado I wish you a pleasant visit and hope to hear from my readers via your comments.
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